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Host:
Hello, everyone, Happy New Year!
This is STANDOUT From The Crowd and I'm your host Darine.
Today, we're diving into a topic that's on everyone's mind as we kick off the new year – the age-old saying, 'New Year, New You.' Now, we've all heard it before, the promises we make to ourselves as the clock strikes midnight, the resolutions we set with the best of intentions.
But here's the thing – does the idea of a 'New You' really work? Is a complete overhaul of our lives, habits, and routines the key to success and happiness?
Well, today, we're going to challenge that notion. I believe in the power of evolution rather than revolution.
It's not about becoming an entirely new person overnight; it's about building upon what already makes you great and refining it in a sustainable way.
Let's start by looking at why so many people struggle to keep their New Year's resolutions?
As I was doing my research for today's podcast I came across the Psychology Behind Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail and found it very interesting.
According to a Forbes Health/OnePoll survey conducted in October of 2023, almost 62% of respondents say they feel pressured to set a New Year’s resolution. In addition, many respondents are planning on setting multiple goals with 66.5% stating they plan on making three or more resolutions for the year ahead.
However - according to studies and this is mind blowing to me - over 90% of people don’t keep their resolutions past February 14th. - which lead to the question:
Why aren’t we more successful at keeping our New Year’s resolutions?
I believe the 'New Year, New You' mantra often sets people up for unrealistic expectations and unfortunately, optimism alone won’t result in the change we want. The reality is that there are a number of things about the way we make New Year’s resolutions that set us up for failure before we’ve even started.
After reading numerous research I’ve identified 3 reasons why people fail at NY’s resolutions. These 3 reasons are the ones that resonate the most with me and hopefully with you too.
REASON #1 - People set unrealistic expectations
To make a lasting change, you have to be uncomfortable for a long period of time and nobody likes to be uncomfortable. People tend to set [New Year’s resolutions] that are really big, and they might be achievable, but they forget about breaking down their big goals into smaller, more achievable steps that are needed along the way.
REASON #2: People do not consider the 'why' behind their goals. Why do you want to make those changes?
I’m going to quote Terri Bly, a licensed clinical psychologist (and I’m going to quote him a few times in this podcast)
“Change is hard, and as a result, the pain of not changing has to be greater than the pain of changing for us to really… change.”
We need to know our personal reasons behind our goals. If that's to go to the gym, we need to dig deeper and ask ourselves why. For instance, if we want to go to the gym, is it because we want to get in shape, because we want to feel healthier, or something else?
If we know the reason we're making a particular resolution, we may find there are other routes to achieving it that will be more enjoyable and satisfying for us and, therefore, make us more likely to stick with it over the long term.
Another reason we can’t commit to our New Year’s resolutions long-term REASON #3 is that you may not be ready for change.
In the study, Terry Bly points to the Stages of Change model as a way to understand the process people go through before they're psychologically ready to change. Listen to this because this is fascinating - this is something that I’ve learned while doing my research;
The Stages of Change model consists of the following stages:
* Precontemplation: You’re starting to become aware that there may be something to change
* Contemplation: You’re thinking about making a change
* Preparation: You start putting a plan together to make a change
* Action: You make the change
* Maintenance: You determine how to maintain the change
The people who achieve their New Year’s resolutions it’s because they are at the Action stage when they make their resolution.
On the other hand, people who make New Year's resolutions on a whim are unlikely to succeed because they have not put enough thought, preparation and planning before making their New Year’s resolutions and to sustain them.
I believe change is a gradual process, and expecting a radical transformation almost overnight can lead to frustration and burnout (and as a high-achiever, I know a lot about it).
Instead, I’d like to discuss a more mindful and sustainable approach to implementing positive changes.
How about ditching the NEW YEAR, NEW YOU mantra for ‘New Year, Same You'?
The 'New Year, Same You' mantra acknowledges the value of self-acceptance and self-awareness. It's about recognizing your strengths, understanding your areas for improvement, and committing to continuous growth without losing sight of your authentic self.
Basically it’s about embracing who you are, acknowledging your strengths and deciding to leverage them to become a better version of yourself and create lasting change. Ok? We are not reinventing the wheel here.
My ONE advice - which is a 3-step process - for those of you who are looking to make positive changes without feeling overwhelmed is to first do a self-assessment of who you are - your personal SWOT analysis - and because I want you to thrive, I have attached a free template - the link is in the description of this episode so you can identify your strengths and opportunities for professional development and personal growth.
Even if you think that you already know everything about yourself, a personal SWOT analysis will push you to look at yourself from a different perspective. Click the link in the description below to download your personal SWOT analysis template.
Then, once you have identified your strengths, set realistic goals aligned with your values and priorities. What do you want to achieve first? Or what do you need to achieve first? How can your strengths help you to achieve your goals?
Break them down into monthly goals and then you break down those monthly goals into manageable weekly tasks. Basically, you reverse engineer the process and look at it as a funnel. The top part of your funnel is your yearly goal. The middle part of the funnel is your monthly goals and the thinner part of the funnel, the bottom part is your weekly goals.
Keep in mind that consistent steps no matter how small, lead to progress and build momentum.
Last but not least, surround yourself with a supportive community. (In your personal SWOT analysis you may have identified some people as a threat… - family members, friends,.... I see it a lot with my clients and with my group sessions).
=> Accountability and encouragement go a long way in sustaining positive changes. If you don’t have those ppl around you or you don’t know where to get started, sign up for my weekly newsletter. This will be the first step into getting weekly motivation, inspiration to get you going.
I like to keep things simple yet effective, again it’s not about reinventing the wheel and overwhelming us with so many changes, tactics and so on.
1. Do you personal SWOT analysis (click the link in the description below to download the template)
2. Set up 1 or 2 goals and break it down into monthly, weekly, daily steps.
3. Create an environment that inspires you to thrive. You can sign up for my weekly newsletter to get the motivation and inspiration to keep you going.
These are clear, simple yet very effective steps. A gradual and mindful approach is the key to long-term success.
As we wrap up today's episode, I want to leave you with a thought – instead of striving for a 'New You,' let's focus on becoming a better version of yourself, each day, embracing the journey, and celebrating the progress you make.
Thank you for tuning in to another episode of STANDOUT From The Crowd.
Until next time, keep standing out!
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