I am so sorry.
I can't help you right now.
I'm busy, I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm late to the kids, the traffic, I'm so sorry.
Sorry, sorry. Can I interrupt?
Do you find yourself apologizing a lot?
What are you sorry for?
Really?
I'm going to share with you how to stop saying sorry often and what to say.
Apologies have become more of a reflex than a real
expression of contrition and over using them might be holding you back.
Since I moved to Canada more than 10 years ago,
I have unconsciously learned to apologize for literally everything
and it had become so ingrained in how I communicate that
I didn't know what I was apologizing for.
It is also important to mention the gendered implications that come with apologizing at work.
Studies have found that women do apologize more than men because they have a lower threshold for what they consider offensive.
Most of us were taught to be nice to behave our manners
to apologize and these well-attended gendered behavior guidelines can hurt our career advancement.
It is something to apologize when we have done something wrong and actually it is a real strength but compulsive apologizing can hurt your career advancement.
And yes, the words you use have an impact on the way people perceive you and let me tell you some misinterpreted women's apologies as incompetence.
So think about it.
So there is a mindset shift that needs to happen and there are a few simple things that you can implement in order to shift your mindset and start using words that empower yourself.
First of all, practice self-awareness.
Notice how many times throughout the day you apologize and write it down each time.
Okay, each time you say the word sorry, you may be surprised at how many times you use the word without even realizing it.
Then start checking your emails to see how often you use the word sorry.
Using the sorry word too often can undermine your message.
So once you have identified how often you use the word sorry,
then it's time to change your vocabulary.
So for example, instead of saying sorry for the delay:
I'm sorry I'm late to the
kids, the traffic, I'm so sorry.
Thank you for waiting for me. Let's get started now.
Sorry, sorry, can I interrupt?
That's very interesting and I would like to add to that.
I am so sorry, I can't help you right now,
I'm busy, I'm so sorry.
I'm not available to help you right now but I will be happy to talk about it later today.
Being more intentional in how you express yourself can help you build your leadership and authority.
You can be considerate of others without you knowing you have to apologize for doing your job. So do you apologize a lot at work?
Were you aware of the impact it could have on your career advancement and on the way
people perceive you?
That's all from me,
I hope you enjoyed this and I will see you next time.
Bye bye.
