Welcome to Standout From The Crowd.
I'm Darine; and if you are anything like me, you have probably been through a few unexpected twists on your journey.
My plan “A” was to be a diplomat, but life had other plans leading me to become an impact entrepreneur and champion for women's leadership.
Sometimes life has a funny way of throwing us curveballs.
Right? I have always wondered why fit in when you were born to stand out?
In this podcast, I sit down with remarkable women leaders who have embraced their unique path, defied expectations, and created lasting impact.
We dive into their stories, explore their mindset, their resilience, and the strategies that help them succeed even when left through stones in their path.
Whether it's insights on personal growth, strategies to amplify your visibility, or tips to boost your well-being and overall productivity, you will find the inspiration you need to unlock your full potential.
Join me every other Wednesday for conversations that will empower you to stand out in your career, in your life, and in everything that you do.
Because, listen, here, we don't just follow the crowd.
We STANDOUT.
The holiday season is definitely my favorite part of the year.
A time for joy, celebration, connection, love.
But let's be real here, and you know I'm your girl, the real woman from real life.
And we talk the truth here.
With the beauty of the holidays comes the stress of December.
Between wrapping up deadlines, hosting gatherings, shopping for gifts, and meeting family expectations, and, overall, societal expectations, it can be a lot, and it can be overwhelming.
And in the forever pursuit of doing it all, what do we do?
As usual, we neglect one essential piece of the puzzle, which is ourselves.
I know.
I know.
We are strong women. Right?
We can get it done.
We can take care of our family, friendships, and careers.
So why is it that during, especially, the holidays, we have such a difficult time saying no, setting boundaries, and, you know, taking care of ourselves without feeling guilty about it?
And I'm here to tell you the truth.
Throbbing during the holidays is not about perfection.
And if you feel caught in the perfection trap in the previous episode, I shared with you tips and strategies to get out of the perfection trap so you can thrive and feel better about it.
And the holidays are no exception.
t's not about how perfect your table look even if you wanna make it look perfect on social media, but it's more about the moments that you create with your loved ones.
So in today's episode, we are going to look at how to set boundaries, what should we prioritize the most, and give ourselves permission to let go of guilt?
How does it sound?
So let's start with the nitty gritty here.
Why is setting boundaries all year long, but especially during the busy season of the holidays, is essential?
The holidays are a busy season.
We all know that.
And we often, more often, women, bear the brunt of social expectations.
Looking good, pleasing people, hosting the best gatherings ever, you know, having a beautiful table, perfect dining experience, finding the perfect gifts for everyone.
And research shows that women are more likely than men to shoulder the invisible extra work of holiday prep, which can lead to increased stress and burnout in a period that's supposed to be about joy, love, and beauty, and peace.
So once again, in everything that I talk about, it's not to say that men are excluded from the topics that I cover.
But once again, studies and research show that women are disproportionately affected.
And that's why I talk about those topics on the podcast and listen to them.
A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that women struggle with saying no due to fears of being perceived as selfish or unhelpful.
This guilt often leads to overcommitting and neglecting our own needs.
So what's the solution then?
The solution lies in redefining boundaries as an act of self care and leadership rather than selfishness.
You are leading your family.
You are leading your community.
You are a leader at work as well.
Why is it that we don't take, you know, self care, me time as part of our leadership style?
That's a good one, and I believe in it. Like, in everything that I say anyway, I share with you, self care should be part of our leadership style.
So now let's take a look at the data behind the power of boundaries.
Research from psychological science highlights that people who set and enforce boundaries are not only happier, but also more respected by their peers.
In fact, setting boundaries at work and at home has been linked to increased productivity and reduced emotional exhaustion.
Similarly, a survey by the American Psychological Association found that nearly 42% of women report higher stress levels during the holidays compared to other times of the year.
So implementing strategies like saying no, delegating, and practicing self care can significantly reduce this stress.
This thing is serious, So now let's take a look at 3 simple yet effective, actionable strategies that you can implement to thrive during the holidays and all year long.
Strategy number 1, say no gracefully but firmly. And no is a complete sentence.
I repeat, no is a complete sentence.
And learning to use it and to say it is an act of self empowerment.
No more, no less.
If a task or invitation doesn't align with your priorities, politely decline.
There is nothing wrong with that.
For example, you can say, I would love to help, but I need to focus on “you insert your priority right now”. Okay?
So, for example, you can say, I would love to help, but I need to focus on my mental health right now, or I need to focus on my family dinner right now.
So this communicates respect while protecting your energy.
You remain graceful, and at the same time, you respectfully decline an invitation or an ask for contribution, etcetera.
Strategy number 2, delegate like a pro.
Oh God.
I know that delegating can be very, very hard and challenging, especially when we are high achievers, especially when we know that if we do it ourselves, it will be better, faster, and we will get more satisfaction out of it. I know that. I feel you.
I'm with you on this one. But leaders delegate.
You're probably delegating at work.
So why don't you delegate at home?
You know!
Or why don't you delegate to friends? I know.
I know.
It's it's icky. Right?
It's challenging.
It's hard, and you always keep an eye open, you know, an eye and an ear open because you wanna see how things are going.
I know that, and especially at home, you know, if you're a control freak, I wouldn't describe myself as a control freak, but I like to be hands on.
Let's put it this way.
If you like to be hands on, it's really hard to delegate.
But if you do it at work, why not learning to do it at home within your family or within your community?
And if your budget allows it, why don't you hire a help?
I used to host and organize and plan and implement and promote all my events myself, and I was very happy and satisfied with the end results.
But as you can imagine, I would finish on my knees exhausted.
And this year, this is the first time that I decided to hire professionals to help me set up my event, especially now that I'm managing multiple companies.
And trust me, just the idea to know that someone is taking care of the details and, you know, working with someone who has the same standards, you're so much at peace.
You are so much at peace.
So I do it for business.
And now, slowly but surely, I'm considering, you know, doing it at home.
And, again, easier said than done.
I know that.
But at the end of the day, we wanna be able to take care of ourselves so we can enjoy the moment with our loved ones.
You know, like, little things like instead of baking everything yourself, you could order from a local bakery.
You know?
So you don't have to focus on the recipe or the baking process.
You just, like, enjoy time with your loved ones so you have more time for yourself and your loved one while the bakery will deliver the cakes, for example.
It can be as simple as that, and it can make a big difference.
So the goal of saying no, the goal of delegating, lead us to strategy number 3, which is to prioritize self care.
You deserve it.
You have the right to prioritize self care.
Self care isn't selfish.
All year long, it is self love, and it is essential.
So you can block off time on your calendar the same way you would block off time for your meetings, your appointments, block off times for me time, block off time for self care.
So you ensure that you respect what you have scheduled in your calendar.
This tip has helped me a lot to prioritize self care.
Just by putting it in my calendar and considering the appointments or the meetings with myself, me time as important as any other professional meetings.
So the same way I will show up in my professional life, I need to show up for myself.
And especially if you have been running around, you know, working hard all year long to meet your deadlines, meet your objectives, then this holiday season is the perfect time to treat yourself to something special.
And I would like to talk to you about Afra Beauty, the eco luxury skincare and wellness brand that I created for busy women.
So you can enjoy time for yourself, creating a wonderful experience around treating yourself, treating your skin, feeling good, feeling beautiful.
So if you are looking for a meaningful gift for yourself or a loved one, I wanna encourage you to consider the Afroa Beauty Holiday Bundle.
We created the ultimate self care package designed to nurture your skin and your soul because you deserve it.
We deserve it.
Don't you think so?
Now let's talk about letting go of perfection.
I have dedicated a full episode to this one.
I will link it in the description below so you can listen to it, watch the video on YouTube, and start implementing easy peasy yet effective strategy that will make you relax more, enjoy the process a little bit more.
Because perfect is an illusion.
It's okay if the tree is not Instagrammable.
It's okay if your meal is not Instagram worthy as long as it's good, though.
Those things are vanity metrics.
And, unfortunately, I see more and more people focusing and stressing about making things perfect based on vanity metrics.
You know?
What's the most important is, was the moment enjoyable?
Was the dinner good?
This is an important one, though.
But if it's not picture perfect, Instagram worthy and so what?
And so what?
A post on Instagram lasts, what, a few minutes?
Nobody will remember the perfect picture, and nobody will know the unnecessary stress that you put on yourself.
So is it really worth it?
I don't think so.
Why not, this holiday season, let go of the need to please everyone or create flawless experiences and instead embrace the beauty of the moment, the beauty of people, the beauty of imperfection.
Set boundaries that honor yourself and your well-being and focus on what truly brings you joy. Isn't it cool to have to focus only for that one time of the year on what brings you joy and to double down on that?
That's what life should be about.
And don't forget to give yourself or someone you love, the gift of self care with the Afroa Beauty holiday bundle because you cannot pour from an empty cup.
You need to take care of yourself.
So let me know either in the comment or on social media What is the one boundary?
Let's talk small, but let's start today.
What's the one boundary you are going to set for yourself this holiday season?
And by doing so, you won't only thrive during this holiday season, but you will also inspire others to do the same.
Happy holidays.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review.
Your feedback helps us to continue to grow and bring more valuable content.
Until next time. Bye.
