Welcome to stand out from the crowd.
I'm Darine. And if you are anything like me, you have probably been through a few unexpected twists on your journey.
My plan “A” was to be a diplomat, but life had other plans leading me to become an impact entrepreneur and champion for women's leadership.
Sometimes life has a funny way of throwing us curve balls.
Right?
I have always wondered why fit in when you were born to STANDOUT?
In this podcast, I sit down with remarkable women leaders who have embraced their unique path, defied expectations, and created lasting impact.
We dive into their stories, explore their mindset, their resilience, and the strategies that help them succeed even when life throws stones in their path.
Whether it's insights on personal growth, strategies to amplify your visibility, or tips to boost your well-being and overall productivity, potential.
Join me for conversations that will empower you to stand out in your career, in your life, and in everything that you do.
Because listen, here, we don't just follow the crowd, we STANDOUT.
This is the first episode of a powerful new series called redefining habit all.
Let me start by asking you something that may hit close to home.
Are you thriving or are you just surviving in style?
We have been taught that having it all is the ultimate goal.
A successful career, a fulfilling relationship, kids before the age of 30, more or less, a glowing skin, an organized home, a beautiful garden, and eventually a dog.
And of course, all of this while making it look all effortless.
And let's be honest here.
The phrase “having it all” has become a rallying phrase for ambitious women all over the world.
And while the intention may have been empowering, the reality though, for many of us it is simply exhausting.
So today we are talking about the burnout behind the badge of honor.
The unspoken cost of doing it all and be it all And most importantly how to reclaim your energy, your clarity and your peace.
First, let's get a better understanding as to why the have it all culture runs deep.
This isn't just about individual choices.
It is systemic.
For most of us from a very young age, we were taught to be high achievers and also caretakers. We are praised for being good girls, great team players, helpers, multitaskers, and as we grow, those expectations compound.
We are expected to lead, but not to be too much. We are expected to be ambitious, but not intimidating.
We are expected to be nurturing, but we are also expected to be productive.
According to the American Psychological Association, women are significantly more likely than men to experience chronic stress and family responsibilities.
Often, we internalize that our value is linked to our productivity.
The more we do for others, the more we are worth it.
How many roles can we juggle?
And how flawlessly can we perform all of them?
But that badge of honor, though, that badge of honor is often masking a deep and quiet exhaustion.
And unfortunately, I can talk from a place of experience.
Let's talk about this tension about being empowered and being overextended or in other words the reality of having it all.
I don't know when, I don't know how.
We have rebranded the idea of doing the most as being empowered, in my opinion let me know if you think otherwise or if you agree with me.
Real empowerment means having the freedom to choose and sometimes choosing less. According to a 2025 survey by CNBC and SurveyMonkey, forty two percent of working women report feeling burned out most or all the time.
This is sad.
This is sad.
And among highly ambitious women, the number is even higher.
Why?
Because “ambition without boundaries becomes exhaustion”.
Let me repeat that, “Ambition without boundaries becomes exhaustion”.
And I have lived it.
I was constantly producing.
And the more I was producing, the more I felt worthy.
And I remember a specific moment in my life and in my career where I was working and producing and operating on a four hour sleep a night.
And I was proud.
I was simply thinking that, you know, I don't need to sleep that much.
I don't need to get that much rest because I'm a high achiever.
I have a high level of productivity.
So that's perfect.
That's fine.
And then one day, I was at the office and I would go to the bathroom, cry myself out, and go back to the office like nothing had happened.
Like if I was okay and everything was normal.
And I was doing so until one day I'm in a boardroom speaking to high profile leaders in one of the biggest banks in Canada.
It was a special meeting for Women's Day and to talk about the status of women entrepreneurs and women leadership.
And I was leading the conversation, standing tall, being proud, showcasing my expertise, you know, running the show.
And I could feel it coming up, coming up, coming up, coming up, coming up.
And I wanted to cry so badly, and I was trying to hold it.
At some point, I just grabbed the glass of water from the person that was next to me, a gentleman.
I was like, sorry.
I need to drink.
And while I was drinking the water, you could see my tears.
And that was the beginning, and I couldn't stop crying.
And all these people in the boardroom, they were looking at me like, what what what's happening?
What's going on?
And no one would say a word, and I felt so embarrassed, and I kept apologizing.
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
I couldn't pursue the meeting and the conversation.
I stayed in the room, but I just told them, listen.
I'm exhausted, and I can't do it anymore.
This is weird for me to do that because if you know me or follow me on social media, you know that I have high standards.
And then just crying was so unprofessional, but on the other side, to tell them that I was exhausted and that I couldn't do it anymore, it just opened me up to being vulnerable.
For the past few years, you know, vulnerability in leadership has been trending.
For me, it was way before that was even a thing.
And when I told them that I was exhausted, I was surprised to see some of the people in the audience telling me, but, Darine, we didn't know why you didn't talk to us. We would have supported you.
We would have helped you.
And for me, that was just unbelievable because it never, never, ever crossed my mind that I could ask for help.
And beyond my experience, I wanna share with you what I learned, which I believe is the most important.
Burnout is not a badge of honor.
It's a signal that something needs to change sooner rather than later.
A signal that your heart, your body, your mind, your soul is asking for space, for stillness, for grace?
Because let's be real here.
I wanna share with you a different perspective.
Once we have it all, once we have done it all, do we feel fulfilled?
And the truth is not always.
Let's go through the science quickly because I want you to be able to identify your feelings and what your body is telling you.
In my case, this is not something that happened overnight.
It's not like one day or one night I woke up and I was paralyzed in bed.
I have heard stories like that.
That was not my case.
All the little signs, all the things that you are going through, as small as they are, psychological science of a burnout might be constant irritability or emotional numbness, feeling like nothing is ever enough.
Resentment towards responsibilities that once excited you, brain fog or trouble focusing.
I did experience that one as well.
When it comes to the physical signs of a burnout, fatigue that sleep doesn't fix, headaches, back pain or digestive issues, insomnia, that was me as well, and feeling run down even after rest. I've lived through all those signs for months and maybe years without acknowledging it because you don't know what you don't know, right?
So I didn't have a name to give it.
So don't make the same mistake.
And if you have been through it, don't repeat the same mistake.
Going through burnout once wasn't enough.
I went through burnout twice.
And then the third and last time, I had a breakdown that took me to the ER.
So don't be that stubborn.
Trust me, it is not worth it.
And one of the reasons I believe it's so difficult for us women to identify it or to be able to put a stop to such a situation is when we tie our identity to being the strong one, the capable one, or the woman who never drops the ball.
We don't just lose energy.
We lose ourselves.
Resentment will start to build towards our job, our kids, our partner, our career.
We are so busy running.
We are so much on the go, go, go that we simply forget how to be.
And self neglect has become our norm.
We go down down down down to the bottom of our list of priorities.
We start skipping meals, we delay rest and ultimately we silence our own needs.
And here's what the data says.
According to McKinsey's woman in the workplace report, one in three women say they have considered downshifting or leaving their careers due to burnout, and yet, must keep going out of fear, guilt, or sheer habit.
It hurts.
It does hurt to know that we do that to ourselves.
What for?
To meet society expectations, not to be judged.
And as I'm talking to you, I'm really thinking, like, do we really want to avoid being judged by others?
Or are we avoiding judging ourselves?
Who are the worst critics?
I believe we are our own worst critics.
If you have been listening to this podcast, you know that I keep it real with you.
But also, once we know the fact, once we understand the gravity of the situation, what can we do? How can we reframe it?
How can we shift the energy?
What can we do differently in order to get out of a negative situation, in order to build yourself up into something more positive?
Because we were born to stand out.
We were born to stand out being yourself.
So let's take a look at what empowerment isn't versus what empowerment is or should be. Empowerment isn't. H
esseling Twenty Four Seven.
Saying yes to everything.
Smiling through your overwhelm.
Sacrificing yourself in the name of success.
This is not empowerment.
Empowerment should be having urgency over your time and energy, saying no without guilt, choosing progress over perfection, and if you are a perfectionist, I encourage you to listen to one of my previous episodes on the perfection trap and how we can get out of it.
And last but not least, prioritizing joy and rest as much as because the truth is you don't have to break yourself to prove your strength.
So here is my question for you today.
Is the way you are living actually working for you?
Truly working for you?
If you were not trying to be everything for everyone, what would you let go of?
What would you choose to keep because it fuels you? Not because it's expected of you.
Let's break it down to the practical. Here are three things you can start today.
Do a burnout audit.
Write down everything you are carrying this week.
Tasks, roles, responsibility.
And let's do it only for this week because I know you already have a lot on your plate.
Okay?
So now circle the ones you are doing from guilt or fear, not love or purpose, then choose one to pause or delegate.
Number two, try the one less practice.
You look at the same list of things you are carrying this week, you choose one thing, one thing to take off your plate.
That can be one meeting, one errand, one obligation, simply say no to that task or at least not now.
It might be difficult the first few times but trust me, once you overcome this feeling of wanting to hold onto it, then you will feel so much better.
And last but not least, reflect in your journal.
And you can use that prompt.
If I wasn't trying to be everything for everyone, why would I give myself permission to let go of? And if there is one thing that I would love for you to keep out of this episode, is that you can be ambitious and rest.
You can be powerful and soft.
You don't have to earn your worth through exhaustion.
That's all for today's episode, but this is just the beginning of the conversation.
In next week's episodes, we are diving into the Superwoman Syndrome.
Where it came from, why we still believe in it, and how to finally let her go.
Until then, I would love to hear from you. What's the one thing you are taking out of your plate this week?
You can leave your response in the comment or you can simply DM me.
Let's have this conversation.
I strongly believe this is how we become successful by opening up, sharing our struggles, our progress, and supporting one another.
And don't forget to share this episode with another woman, with all the women in your family, in your community, in your network. It could help more than you know.
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Your feedback helps us to continue to grow and bring more valuable content.
Until next time. Bye.
